Funny texts from bad neighbors

Always time for a burrito

When you find the perfect place to live, you probably spend ages wandering around the house or the apartment, checking out all of the little details that you’ve fallen in love with. You marvel at the high ceilings, you can’t quite believe the size of the rooms, you dream of relaxing in the roll-top bathtub, you imagine using your green fingers to make the backyard something special, and you probably check out the views without quite believing that it’s all yours to enjoy.

However, do you ever think about the people who live next door, above you, or even underneath you? There’s a high chance that you don’t because you’re just so distracted. We have a feeling that these people wish they had done a little more research into the people they later got to call their neighbors…

Always time for a burrito

There are two types of neighbors in this world. There are those who simply ignore you as you walk past, and there are those who like to check in every now and again to make sure you’re okay. Ryan was curious as to whether this person had gotten over their breakup, and also wondered if they wanted to go for a burrito with them.

Always time for a burrito

When he got politely rejected, he wasn’t too upset about it. After all, all he really wanted was to have someone pay for a burrito with him. Although we’d be annoyed, this guy knows that there is always time for a burrito, even if you don’t have the cash.

Like just a nod for hello?

If you’re the kind of person who doesn’t like to interact with other human beings, having a neighbor can be hard. You have to pretend to like them, you have to force yourself to interact with them, and you have to put a smile on your face even when you don’t want to.

Like just a nod for hello?

Well, Melissa was fed up with being someone she wasn’t, and she decided to do something about it. She wanted to create some rules and boundaries between herself and her neighbor, and she wanted their relationship to be based around a simple nod. Who doesn’t? It seems as though her neighbor didn’t want that to be the case because that nod and finger combination is ruthless.

No. Absolutely not.

As soon as you move in, you sign some form of unofficial document within the neighborly code. If you have some milk and they don’t have any, you offer to lend them some. While you know that you will never have that specific milk returned to you, you feel as though you’re doing your neighborly duty by helping them out of a sticky (and milk-less) situation.

No. Absolutely not.

However, there has to be a limit when it comes to this generosity, and this neighbor was not quite ready to hand over her daughter. No matter how hard her neighbor tried to explain that handing over the child would be the only way to impress a girl who has a kid, they just wouldn’t budge. We don’t blame them.

But not too seriously

There’s nothing worse than a loud neighbor, and hearing them crashing and banging around their apartment in the early hours of the morning is not something you want to wake up to. Thankfully, you can always send them a passive-aggressive text message to get them to stop if you have their number, and that’s exactly what this person did.

But not too seriously

Of course, your neighbor is also within their right to send a passive-aggressive text back – and this is just downright hilarious. Personally, we love the image of someone vacuuming while doing a little shimmy around the apartment. That makes us happy, and we might do the same when we get home.

You got this

It’s always good to be civil with your neighbors. After all, they can make your life extremely difficult if you get on their bad side, and everyone just wants to live in peace. Because of this, it’s important to have a chat with them every now and then and check in to see how they’re doing.

You got this

However, there’s a difference between checking in on how someone is doing and being a little too overbearing. While we appreciate the fact that this person is just trying to motivate their neighbor, we wouldn’t be too happy to receive this every week. It’s a little too much, and we just know that the Monday blues would immediately kick in.

Walking the pig

If you’re allowed pets in your apartment building, you are truly living the good life. You might surround yourself with dogs, you might curl up with your cats, or you might even buy yourself a pig. Because why not, ey?

Walking the pig

However, you can almost guarantee that there will be someone who doesn’t like your choice of pet, and Megan from 2A was not too happy with the fact that her neighbor was seen walking a pig. Thankfully, this person had the greatest response. That’s a true mic drop.

 

Paying the price

Being a neighbor is hard work. You have to check on their house when they’re away, you have to make sure nobody is stealing from them, and you even have to take in their packages.

Paying the price

This neighbor realized that they were doing so much for someone else for no real gain of their own, and decided to do something about it. They took a little piece of the package for payment, and it just so happened that that payment came in the form of cookies. What a result. We hope they were chocolate chip.

Law and Order SVU?

If you live next to your landlord, things can sometimes get pretty awkward. Because you don’t own your property you have to be extra careful when it comes to the upkeep of the apartment, and you have to hastily give it a clean when you know they are coming around to inspect.

Law and Order SVU?

When one tenant forgot to disclose the fact that they had a few stains on the carpet, the landlord wasn’t happy. While we agree that he has the right to be irritated, we have to say that the tenant’s response is truly something special.

I saw you wearing it

If you get along with your neighbor, it can often come in very handy. After all, it’s sometimes like having an extra friend. You can borrow their kitchen utensils, you can borrow some food or drink, and you can even borrow their clothes if you’re the same size.

However, it’s important that you remember to give them everything back – or else. When this neighbor borrowed a coat, they thought they had gotten away with keeping it for themselves. Oh, how wrong they were because they definitely weren’t out of town!

You monster

When you live in an apartment block, the buzzer situation is always going to be an issue. Every year you live there, you will be speaking to people who meant to press a different buzzer, and you also have to cope with your own not working every once in a while.

You monster

That’s exactly what one person had to deal with, but they thought of an innovative idea. They asked their neighbor to stay in just a few minutes to grab their pizza because they would be a true monster to leave before pizza.

You don’t need a man

Your neighbor probably knows more about you than anyone else, because they hear you when you are in your most comfortable environment.

You don’t need a man

They might hear you sing in the shower, they might hear you cry along to your 3rd rom-com of the evening, and they might even hear you arguing with your significant other. While it may be an unwritten rule to never discuss this with each other, this neighbor decided to break that rule and tell this person that they didn’t need a man. And that they’re not good enough for Jesus.

Going on Maury

The best thing about living with other people around you is that nobody can pinpoint the culprit. If you do something wrong, you can blame it on someone else, and you can avoid the blame entirely. What could be better than that?

Going on Maury

When this person was accused of puking in the stairwell by their neighbor, they decided to ditch the Christmas spirit, ditch the truth, and ditch the puke and keep it there. No matter how hard the neighbor tried to get them to clean it, only Maury could tell them the truth.

I can, but I won’t

It’s always difficult when you have thin walls. While you want to be respectful and not annoy your neighbors, you’re also conscious of the fact that if you’re paying the rent, you can do whatever the heck you want to do.

I can, but I won’t

That’s why this person decided that they weren’t going to stop playing the same song over and over again. They wanted to listen to it, so they didn’t care if it was an awful song and was irritating the person next door. They could have stopped, but they weren’t going to.

You were warned

Parking is a nightmare, right? When finding a spot is a free-for-all and when you have neighbors to contend, there’s no doubt about the fact that it becomes a game of dodgems. People start to park wherever they can find space, and they even start to park wherever they can’t find space.

You were warned

This often leads to people being blocked in or parking illegally, and Chloe from 1A just wasn’t going to stand for it. Actually, she was going to stand for it while she was getting her neighbor’s car towed, but then she was going to chill out.

The difficult questions

Have you ever truly regret giving someone your number? Normally this happens on a night out, but this person soon discovered that giving their neighbor their cell phone number was the worst thing they could ever do.

The difficult questions

Instead of being asked for some sugar, they were inundated with question after question. While this wouldn’t have been an issue if these questions were about the meaning of life or the latest episode of The Bachelor, the actual questions were just as weird as anything. Let’s hope they blocked them after this.

Will you get a dog?

Most of us wish to surround ourselves with dogs because they are truly a blessing on the Earth. While there’s nothing we want more in life, we are also realists. We know that we just don’t have the time or the money to keep a dog – which is why we have to resort to other measures.

Will you get a dog?

When this neighbor realized that they really wanted a dog in their life, they decided to ask their own neighbor to take on the glory. Sadly, the answer was not what they were expecting, and we don’t think they’ll be getting a dog any time soon.

Problems with boundaries

Living in a neighborhood where everyone has a nice bit of space all to themselves has it perks, but also has some drawbacks. You have to take care of your own property – mow the lawn, tend to the garden if you have one, and so on and so forth.

Problems with boundaries

But it also means that’s what yours is yours, right? Well, with that attitude in mind, this helpful neighbor sent his pooch out roaming. And when it did its business on his neighbor’s property, well… It’s his property, isn’t it?

Make your own entertainment

Anyone who’s lived in an apartment building for any period of time will be able to tell you that the walls separating properties are often paper thin, giving you an earful of whatever your neighbors are up to – whether you want to or not.

Make your own entertainment

This person knows that, and figured that if you can’t beat ‘em, you might as well join ‘em. And so he did, with a nice bowl of popcorn, as he settled down to listen to the evening’s entertainment.

Simple logic

It’s tough navigating childhood these days. Things just aren’t what they used to be when we were kids, and it seems like the world has changed completely. Well… almost completely.

Simple logic

Some things will probably never change, namely busybody parents who end up getting their kids into even hotter water than they would have on their own. In this case, Lisa is trying to suss out whether her daughter is invited to a sleepover. Spoiler warning: she wasn’t. Sometimes there really is bliss in ignorance.

Going out smiling

When your living situation has neighbors all around your place, sometimes privacy is a hard thing to come by. It’s not always easy, knowing unseen eyes might be watching your every move.

Going out smiling

Amusingly enough, the person whose privacy was being breached here wasn’t even the one who cared. Instead, it was their neighbor, who didn’t want their poor elderly father to witness things his heart might not be able to take. Luckily (unluckily?) for dad, they were a good sport about it.

Simple physics

This neighbor had a problem. Water was running into their backyard. What do you do in that situation? Contact the neighbor who might be responsible, of course!

Simple physics

That approach makes a lot of sense, but this particular person has hit a snag – the neighbor he texted lives downhill from them. ‘Not to worry,’ he must have told himself, ‘I’m sure they can figure it out anyway.’ Turns out they couldn’t. And they were sticklers for spelling.

Everyone’s (not) invited

The United States has a proud, 242-year tradition of celebrating its Independence Day with a bang, often literally. What July 4th blowout would be complete without fireworks, good friends, and – naturally – a party?

Everyone’s (not) invited

This friendly person had a not-so-friendly approach to specifically texting other neighbors to disinvite them from a party he was about to throw in the communal pool. He was nice enough to concede they could still use the pool, but set his terms. Their neighbor…didn’t take rejection so well.

Boys will be boys

We’ve all been there. Your neighbors’ bratty kid wanders into your yard and starts making a mess. You precious petunias, your delicate little puppy, your bushes – nothing goes back to being the way it was after they’re done with the place.

Boys will be boys

So, here we have exactly one of those cases. Except the “kid” in question is a 24-year-old man. And intoxicated. The part about him not wearing any pants, though? Yeah, that’s probably a red line, legally speaking.

Live forecast

Suppose you’re getting ready to leave. Maybe it’s either spring or fall, those sort of in-between seasons where the weather is all wonky – it’s freezing cold one day and scorching hot the next. You never know what to wear.

Live forecast

The neighbor from 3C was facing precisely this dilemma when they saw their good buddy pulling into the driveway. ‘Oh, good,’ they thought, ‘now I’ll know what the weather’s like.’ Other viable options: checking a weather app. Also – opening the same window you were looking through.

Why everyone needs a password

This conversation started out innocently enough, with the neighbor seeming to try and get some tech support from the person next door. Then, however, that person was in for a rude awakening.

Why everyone needs a password

It wasn’t so much a tech support text as it was a customer service text. Their internet went down just as they were getting to the best part of The Walking Dead (is there a best part?) and they needed it fixed, ASAP.

Showing a softer side

We’ve mentioned the problem of really thin walls before, and how they allow you to feel like you’re sharing a life with whoever’s on the other side. Well, Ryan, who lives next door to the girl who received this text message, could hear her crying after her relationship ended in heartbreak.

Showing a softer side

At first you feel like Ryan is building towards comforting her, providing some words of wisdom in her time of distress. But then… Nope, he just wanted to tell her to stop being such a crybaby. Stay classy, Ryan.

Outdoor cat

We hope that the first thing this person did after such a text exchange was call Animal Care and Protective Services because clearly this pet owner should be reported. A nice neighbor found someone’s cat, and did the right thing by contacting the owner right away.

Outdoor cat

In a surprising turn of events, the owner didn’t seem to care that their furry friend was in danger, and said that the animal could defend itself. Checkers needs a new home – who wants a cat?

Party time

We’ve all been there. Sometimes either the walls in our buildings are too thin, or our neighbors are just too loud. From time to time, we hear the people living near us arguing.

Party time

This can get really annoying when we feel like we’re forced into hearing the intimate and personal details of a couple’s relationship. Here, it seems like a neighbor witnessed a last fight between two people and was happy that they would no longer need to hear from them.

Microwave turkey

Be honest, you’ve probably text your mom to ask if you can make various things – like pasta – in the microwave. That being said, you’ve probably never considered the microwave as a conventional way to cook a turkey.

Microwave turkey

On top of that, you’ve probably never text your neighbor to ask if it was. Regardless, this person was ready to try out the quick and easy method and did not need anyone telling them that it wasn’t a good idea.

Coffee lover

What would you do if you saw a cup of Starbucks sitting there, begging for you to drink it? Well, it it was outside your neighbors door, chances are you wouldn’t just take it and start sipping, but this neighbor decided to do just that.

Coffee lover

We don’t know about you, but if this happened to us, we’d probably demand that this neighbor not only reimburse us, but go to Starbucks to get us another latte! Those drinks are expensive, and too delicious to be missed out on.

New stove

Something nice about living in an apartment building or a neighborhood is making friends with those around you. Often times this means doing favors for each other to help out.

New stove

While this can be nice, you usually have to tell the person about the favor and have them agree to do it before you put your plan into action. Oh, and you should also probably be friends with the person, and not just assume they are willing to help you.

Comfy car

The person here probably learned an important life lesson after this happened to them. Upon walking up to their car, they noticed a stranger sleeping there.

Comfy car

Well, we can only assume that they will lock their car doors from now on to prevent something like this from happening again. That being said, we do wish more people out there were as nice to homeless individuals as this neighbor was to offer up their car for a good night’s sleep, even if the person ended up in someone else’s car.

Don’t park here

Okay, we have to agree with the recipient of the message as opposed to the sender. First of all, they are right; if their son is an adult, and someone has a problem with them, they should deal with it themselves.

Don’t park here

While we understand that perhaps the sender knows the parent better, if they’re both grown ups, then there’s no reason they can’t approach the son themselves. Second of all, NEVER bother someone while watching Ellen.

Leaf blower thief

Apparently this is a cautionary tale about loaning your belongings to your neighbor. They may or may not take them to the pawn shop to sell once they’re done using them.

Leaf blower thief

While this is probably a rare case, as neighbors lend each other things all the time, clearly these neighbors are not so close because one of them thought it was okay to just get rid of their leaf blower when they finished using it – for money of course.