For a lot of people, relationships follow a particular structure. You start dating someone, they become your boyfriend or girlfriend, then things escalate from there. You move in together, get engaged, get married, and live your happily ever after. This kind of relationship is something that millions of people aspire to have, but things don’t always work out the way you want them to.
In a lot of cases, while the couple might make it down the aisle, things end up going south after the wedding. We wouldn’t have so many divorces every year if people were able to make their marriages work, after all. Of course, some relationships don’t even manage to tie the knot before everything falls apart. They come crashing down as soon as that engagement ring is on their finger and they realize their partner might not actually be the one for them.
That’s seemingly what happened with this prospective bride when her boyfriend popped the question. She thought the two of them were destined for a happy ending, but then she discovered her ring was fake and wondered if this man was really the one for her.
Hoping for a yes
Engagements are a pivotal moment in any relationship. Once you get down on one knee, there’s no going back from that. Either your other half says yes, and you can start planning your wedding…
Or they reject you and effectively end the relationship. Unfortunately, asking the question is just the start of the rocky road that you go on when you’re engaged.
Planning a wedding
This story kicks off with an engagement, albeit one we can only assume went well. The unnamed people involved didn’t share what actually happened when he got down on one knee and popped the question. However, the fact that the couple is engaged suggests that nothing went awry. Things went as planned and the woman – who labeled herself as Faked Out – was one step closer to becoming a bride.
Now, all that stood between her and the big day was the mass of preparation involved. From arranging the guest list and flower arrangements to organizing the reception, there’s so much involved in planning a wedding. Given the amount of work this entails, couples typically don’t tie the knot until more than a year after they got engaged. However, that doesn’t stop them from making arrangements straight off the bat, just like this woman did.
Getting things in order
The excitement of getting married often pushes brides to go straight into preparation mode from the minute they get engaged. They want to be on top of everything so that the big day goes as planned when it finally comes around. Faked Out was no different. She didn’t want her wedding to get the best of her, so she started organizing things by order of urgency. The stuff that most needed to be dealt with was handled in a matter of weeks so she could put it behind her.
That included insuring her engagement ring. It’s easy for jewelry to get lost or stolen, so she wanted to be prepared in case anything happened to it. That’s why she took it to a jeweler to have it examined. Unfortunately, it was here that everything fell apart because the jeweler told something she’d never expected to hear.
Uncovering the truth
The jeweler had some bad news for Faked Out – her ring wasn’t real. The diamond wasn’t genuine, but rather cubic zirconia. It’s very easy to mix up the two because they’re similar in appearance. However, cubic zirconias are colorless and don’t shine bright like a diamond. The woman obviously hadn’t realized that when her boyfriend proposed, but after being told the truth, she couldn’t help but notice the difference.
Understandably, Faked Out felt extremely embarrassed showing up to the jewelers with a fake diamond ring. She didn’t appreciate being made to look like a fool, and she blamed her fiancé for making that happen. If he’d told her that the gem was actually cubic zirconia, she never would have gone to get it insured in the first place. She needed to have it out with him, and she wasn’t going to hold anything back.
The prospective bride wasted no time approaching her partner and seeing what he had to say for himself. She was angry and upset, and she just wanted to hear some remorse from the man. However, what she got was nothing close to that. Her other half pretty much shrugged off the whole thing, seemingly unbothered by what had happened. He was supposed to love Faked Out more than anything in the world…
Yet he was acting as though he didn’t care if she was happy or not. If he really felt strongly about the woman, he surely would have shown some regret for not telling her the truth. At the very least, he would have stopped her before she went to the jewelers and revealed that the ring wasn’t a real diamond. Instead, he’d just left her to embarrass herself in public before downplaying the whole thing straight after.
Far too expensive
Apparently, the reason that her other half appeared to be unbothered by the whole thing was because a real diamond ring was out of his price range. During the confrontation, he claimed that a genuine diamond the same size as her cubic zirconia “would’ve cost a small fortune.”
A small fortune he didn’t have to spare. When he bought the ring, he was thinking less about how far he could stretch his bank balance and more about proposing to the love of his life. He didn’t consider money to be that important.
Enough is enough
Her fiancé’s comment put a lot of things into perspective for Faked Out. The fact that he was willing to play along with the idea that the ring was real until it was too late didn’t sit well with her. Add to that his indifferent response to being found out, and the future bride questioned whether this was really the man she wanted to marry.
At that moment, she didn’t know if she recognized him anymore, and she wondered if their relationship could really move past such deceit.
Spot the difference
Another reason that Faked Out’s partner supposedly had for not buying a real diamond ring is that people can’t tell the difference. When the woman approached her other half following the incident at the jeweler’s, he simply stated that her friends “will never know.”
Whether that was true or not didn’t matter, because it shouldn’t have factored into his decision making in the first place. To the bride, it just seemed like he’d found a cheap way of getting an engagement ring, and he’d tried keeping the truth to himself.
The real problem
The woman understands that some people will view her predicament and see her as shallow and materialistic. However, she assures that the ring being cubic zirconia isn’t what she has a problem with.
What she’s more concerned about is the fact that her other half didn’t tell her it wasn’t a diamond, leading her to make a fool of herself at the jewelers. She revealed that she feels lied to, and she’s not sure how to move past that. How is she supposed to trust him after what he’s done?
Asking for help
Desperate for someone to help her decide what to do, the bride reached out to an advice columnist. She wrote to Natalie Bencivenga of the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette in the hope that she’d know what to do.
The bride shared the story of what had happened, from the incident at the jeweler’s to the confrontation with her fiancé, then eagerly awaited the response. When Natalie eventually covered it on her column, Faked Out was relieved to see that she wasn’t alone in feeling hurt by her partner’s betrayal.
Firmly on her side
In her response to the woman’s story, Natalie made it very clear that she sided with the bride. She referred to the incident as being a bride-to-be’s biggest nightmare and stated this isn’t how a couple should start their life together.
Bencivenga felt great sympathy for Faked Out and told her she wasn’t wrong for questioning her relationship. The woman’s fiancé had left her with a lot to think about, and only she could decide if their love was worth all the pain that he’d put her through.
A symbol of deceit
When writing her column, Bencivenga made the point that an engagement ring is often viewed as a symbol of two people’s commitment to each other. She wondered what that meant for a relationship if the diamond turned out to be fake – was their love genuine?
Natalie agreed that it wasn’t the cubic zirconia that was actually the problem, but rather the fact its identity had been kept a secret. By not revealing the truth to Faked Out, her fiancé had shown just how much he thought of their partnership.
Not worth her time
Natalie finished off her piece by questioning just how trustworthy Faked Out’s partner was. She suggested that his lies stemmed from a desire to make his life easier, and advised that this might not be the first time he’s lied to her.
Bencivenga pondered on what else her fiancé might have lied about, effectively making it clear that she didn’t believe he was worth sticking around for. She even stated that if she were in Faked Out’s shoes, she would apparently already be heading for the door.
He made a mistake
After Bencivenga’s column was posted, people naturally had a lot to say on the matter. Some agreed with her stance while others were firmly against it. Those that sided with Natalie and Faked Out acknowledged that the fiancé was in the wrong for keeping the truth about the diamond a secret.
If he’d been truthful about it from the start, this whole situation wouldn’t have blown up the way it did. At the very least, his partner would have avoided that entire embarrassing incident at the jewelers.
An insensitive reaction
Others who believed that the fiancé was the one to blame here stated that it’s his reaction which is the real problem. By acting so nonchalant over the whole thing, he made it seem like he didn’t care much for his future bride.
Even if he had his reasons for choosing cubic zirconia over diamonds, he still should have understood why his other half was upset. By brushing her off and saying it wasn’t a big deal, it makes you wonder how he’ll react with any future problems.
Being too picky
Of course, while some commenters sided with the columnist, not everyone agreed with her views. Several people stood firm that there is nothing wrong with having a ring that’s made of cubic zirconia.
Someone wrote that they’d been with their partner for almost twenty years, and they’ve never had an issue with the ring. There have been chances for them to upgrade it to something nicer, but they’ve realized their money is better spent on more important things. At the end of the day, their love is what’s important, not the jewelry.
Leave her while you can
It’s these people who argue that the bride is the one who’s in the wrong for the way she reacted. They suggested that it’s her other half who should be contemplating ending the relationship because his partner is taking things too far.
Just as Natalie said they would, they referred to Faked Out as being materialistic and more interested in her ring than the man who gave it to her. However, without knowing the bride and what she’s actually like, it’s hard to say for sure whether that’s true.
It’s all about the details
In one of the comments, someone brought up an interesting question. They asked whether the fiancé had ever actually said that the ring was diamond, or whether Faked Out had just jumped to conclusions.
If the latter were the case, then some of the blame would undoubtedly fall on the woman’s shoulders. While her partner still could have clarified that it was cubic zirconia, that might have seemed weird to bring up out of nowhere. He may have even thought that his future bride was aware of what it was.
It’s safe to say that the column sparked a lot of debate between people online. Everyone has different opinions, so reaching a general consensus on something like this was never going to be easy. Some people feel that the woman overreacted…
While others are adamant that her fiancé is the bad guy for not being honest from the start. All these commenters have made valid points, but they’re all just spectators in this whole thing. Only the future bride and groom can decide where the relationship goes from here.
If it’s any consolation to Faked Out, she’s not the only person who’s had ring drama in the build-up to their wedding. One man was recently devastated when the love of his life said yes to his proposal, but proceeded to bash the engagement ring he offered her.
He had a strong sentimental attachment to the jewelry because it was given to him by his mother, but his fiancée didn’t care about that. She was more bothered by the thought of having to wear a ring she deemed unattractive.
Another woman had a different kind of drama altogether when her boyfriend popped the question to her on New Year’s Eve. However, unbeknownst to the future bride, her partner had intended to use that ring to propose to the woman he’d been seeing behind her back.
The man questioned whether it was possible for him to get the ring back from his fiancée but later decided to follow through with their wedding because he knew it would make his mom happy. Understandably, the internet struggled to get behind that decision.
An uncertain future
At the time of writing, it’s unclear what decision Faked Out made about her relationship. The fact she was having doubts after the ring debacle doesn’t bode well for the engagement. No matter how good a marriage is, arguments and fights are an inevitable part of being man and wife.
So, what’s to say that the bride won’t want to walk as soon as the two of them fall out again? A marriage needs to be built on honesty and trust, two things that seem to be lacking in this relationship.