Relationships are funny things; they can either be complex, or very simple. More often than not, people think into things and make them seem far more complicated than they actually are, even down to something as basic as saying those three defining words ‘I love you.’ It might be easy enough to put into writing, but in practice, it’s much harder.
How long have you been dating?
There is no simple equation when it comes to saying those fateful words, but one thing’s for sure, you’re probably unlikely to say it on the first date. Of course, everyone is different, if it works for you, then great! Most of the time though, it’s not a great idea, especially if you’ve never met before. You need to keep those rose-tinted glasses in check, as you don’t want that feeling sweeping you up of your feet and releasing words you can’t take back. Consider how long you’ve been dating, and how often you see each other. Every relationship is different, you may see each other three times in three months, or you may have seen each other 40 times in three months, it’s all relative.
How close do you feel
There’s always the worry that, when you’re starting to feel comfortable, they might pull the rug from under your feet. Of course, that’s not always the case, and if you have concerns, then it’s probably not the right time. However, if there is a genuine feeling of comfort that is reciprocated by the other person, generally, you should feel comfortable enough to speak openly before you divulge your innermost feelings. Of course, it’s totally up to you.
Look inside yourself
Take a long, hard look inside. Love is an inexplicable feeling; people have spent centuries trying to define it, from myths and legends to classic power ballads and movies. There’s no denying that the feeling will hit you like a tonne of bricks and take you by surprise, it’s up to you to determine when you want to express those feelings to the person you’re dating.
If you feel like the time is right, then go for it. The only person who can judge when the time is right is you. You don’t want to be putting pressure on yourself, or feel like you have to adhere to some social norm. The other thing to consider is, what if they said ‘I love you’ first? What would you say in return? While this could turn into an awkward situation if you say nothing, there is nothing wrong with not returning the same if the feelings aren’t there. It doesn’t mean you never will, and it just means that you’re not quite there yet and that’s okay.
Famous songs would have you think that love is all butterflies and explosions, and while that can be entirely true, there are other manifestations of love too. Trust your instincts, because only you know how you feel. So, in conclusion, there is no exact moment or time to say ‘I love you,’ because it happens at different times, different places and in different ways for different people; there’s no point trying to answer the eternal question.