The one thing human beings have in common is our need to be liked. You might think this quality is something beyond your control – as hard as you try you can’t make someone like you, can you? Well, that’s only half true! You might not be able to force people into liking you, but there are certainly some techniques you can use in order to be the most likable version of yourself because, believe it or not, people can be very heavily influenced by the things around them. So here are some very simple techniques you can use!
It might seem like an obvious one but connects are often made between people who are in the same physical space together. But this goes even further, with some research pointing to the idea that people can be biased towards people that they’ve spotted before, even if you had little to no interaction. People also others the more that they see them. This is known as the Mere Exposure Effect. So it might help to find yourself in the same cafes, taking the same dinner breaks or even making small talk by the photocopier. This way there are more chances for you to connect. Although you shouldn’t go overboard – stalking is not going to make you more likable!
Again, this might seem a little obvious, but when you have something in common with someone, it is certainly a positive trait in your favor. This could be anything, and it doesn’t have to be big or important, like political or philosophical views. Something small like a musician you both like or an app that you both use can be a brilliant starting point to make a connection. However, the key is, to be honest and genuine – it’s pretty clear when you’re faking! When you build on something genuine, it makes a stronger connection and can lead to future conversations. This helps build a relationship with trust, because if they can trust your thoughts on the little things then maybe they can on the big things too.
Friends do things for each other and help each other out – helping them move house, giving them a lift or even just small things like recommending a book. So it is always a point in your favor when you help someone out. Being a generous and giving person is very endearing to others and will no doubt improve your likeability. So keep your eyes peeled for ways that you can offer aid to people, in both big and small ways. Behavior like this proves that you are a reliable team player and also makes people more likely to help your out in the future if you need it. Support is always a firm foundation for an excellent connection and friendship.
They say imitation is the greatest form of flattery, so take some social cues from the people you want to like you. However, this is undoubtedly a ‘less is more’ kind of behavior. Adopting someone else’s accent and turning up to work in their exact outfit is not going to get you anywhere. Instead, think about replicating body language – lean forward when speaking if they do for example. Copying can communicate our connections which is why this works.
So there are some very simple but effective ways to help you make connections with others and boost your likeability. Good luck!