According to psychology Professor Jack Schafer, there is in fact one rule of thumb in order to make someone like you: make a person like themselves. This guy worked for the FBI and taught people to to achieve more influence and persuasion, so you’ll probably want to listen to his advice.
Make a mistake
Jack Schafer explains that he would always make a deliberate mistake when he would pronounce a word. However he would try to make it seem as though it was accidental. Why? He would use this as an opportunity to have this students correct him and would thank them and pretend to be embarrassed. Jack explains that this method allows the student to gain more confidence, as well as them make them feel more relaxed and feel more comfortable to talk openly with him. And it also would enable them to know that they too can make mistakes. This method is a great way to get way to people to like you. Showing people that you too are imperfect shows that you are just like them, and creates for the start of a special bond.
Talk to people about themselves
Very often people have little interest in new people they encounter. They are extremely absorbed in themselves. Therefore, showing interest in them will make them like you. People are not concerned whether they have a face-to-face conversation or one of social media. No matter what, their brain is activated by talking about themselves, similar to the way it would if something exciting came it’s way such as delicious food or large sums of money. People do not always realize this, however they will inevitably be grateful to you if you show an interest in their lives. Perhaps this gratitude will only be subconscious, however they will want to be your friend and seriously start to like you.
Offer a third party compliment
Direct compliments given to a person can sometimes come off as rather intrusive and obvious. And it should also be taken into consideration that there are many people who do not know how to receive a compliment. Therefore, it can oftentimes be better to give a compliment coming from a third party. For example in a work setting you can say something to a co-worker you are looking to get closer with ‘our boss told me that you’re always the first person in the office and the last to leave’. This method can of course used be used outside of a work environment and can be used anywhere where a compliment can be slipped in. Everyone likes hearing positive feedback about themselves, and will especially appreciate the person that took the time to deliver those words.
Always show sympathy
Everyone likes to know that their opinions are valued and actually listened to. People want to feel that people feel for them. Simply saying something like, ‘wow, that’s too bad’ is not quite enough however. Repetition is often interpreted as not caring. If someone is opening up to you about their unfortunate situation, there are more organic ways to show your sympathy, or if they have something positive to share, show them how happy you are for them. Sympathy is not only for misfortunes! If you hear someone is having a bad day, perhaps try telling that you have to, it will make them feel less alone. Each person is different and it is important to know who you are talking to, but the ultimate goal is to show them that you really understand what they are feeling.
Ask a favor
It was in fact Benjamin Franklin that observed that if you ask someone a favor, the person will like you more than if you did not ask him for a favor. This actually became a phenomenon called the Ben Franklin Effect. This might seem ironic at first, since you would think that you should doing something a favor in order for them to like you, but this is not the reality. Doing a favor makes people feel good about themselves. Asking someone to do a favor is not about you, it is actually about the person doing the favor for you. However it is also important not to overuse this, because no one wants to be taken advantage.
