A relationship consists of two people; anyone can be in a relationship. A healthy relationship, however, consists of two people giving and receiving equally. In order for a partnership to work, both parties must be able to love one another unconditionally. They must be emotionally available, to give as much as they receive. However, this isn’t always the case.
While the common misconception is that men are more emotionally unavailable than women, there are times when it is the other way around. The man may be giving all of his heart, only to find that his love is not reciprocated. There are many reasons why a woman may be emotionally unavailable; it could be a learned behavior, it may be due to a tough break up or distrust, it may even be a mental health condition that holds her back from loving unreservedly.
While there are plenty of reasons why someone may be emotionally unavailable, do you think you would be able to tell if the woman in your life was this way? Here are some of the most common signs that a woman is emotionally unavailable.
Fearing closeness
If the woman in your life fears being vulnerable and building a close relationship, then this is a tell-tale sign that she is emotionally unavailable. Having to expose her feelings to you may be an almost impossible task, and she doesn’t want to put herself in a position where she could get hurt. This is likely to be due to a past experience, that has rendered her emotionally unavailable.
Fearing opening up
If a woman fears opening up and talking about her feelings, then there is probably a reason behind her quietness. An emotionally unavailable woman will not be able to be open about her emotions or have a discussion about how she feels. This could be due to something in her past or simply because she doesn’t know how to find the words to explain how she feels. These women will act as if nothing bothers them because they fear opening up.
Keeping her distance
When you first enter a relationship, someone acting quite aloof may be intriguing and mysterious. However, for an emotionally unavailable woman, this is just a way of life. They don’t want to get too close and so will keep their distance – especially if emotions are shown. You’re most likely to get a pat on the back and a “There, there,” instead of any real advice in an emotional situation.
Fear of commitment
Emotionally unavailable women aren’t interested in the long game. It’s the reason why so many of them opt for the ‘bad boys’ or equally emotionally unavailable men. They don’t want commitment, and any hint of a long-term relationship will leave them running for the hills. An emotionally unavailable woman would prefer someone who is as distant and aloof as her.
Defensive when challenged
Of course, everyone goes slightly on the defensive when challenged about something in their lives – it’s how our brains work. However, an emotionally unavailable woman will become defensive about her fear of closeness or opening up. They may hide certain aspects of themselves, to avoid being challenged altogether. And when challenged, they would rather run away from the situation than talk about their real feelings.
Knowing the real you – or her
As emotionally unavailable women don’t really like talking about their feelings, emotions or selves, it’s unlikely they’ll want to talk about yours either. Asking you too much about yourself will mean that they have to reveal the same level of detail about themselves. Therefore, they would rather not get to know the real you – so you don’t need to know the real her.
Escaping conflict
In relationships, there are bound to be times when a conflict arises. It could be over something simple, such as who does the dishes, or something more complicated. However, an emotionally unavailable woman will escape at the first sign of conflict. She cannot function when a conflict arises and will avoid it as much as possible. This can then lead to a lack of communication in a relationship, leading to nothing ever being resolved.
Blaming others
Avoiding personal responsibility for anything is quite a common trait for emotionally unavailable women. Instead of accepting the blame for something, she would rather pawn it off on someone else. You may find that she is quite sarcastic or makes a joke out of things, instead of accepting responsibility for her actions. An emotionally unavailable woman is quick to judge, too.
One-night stands
Love is not a word that is uttered often by emotionally unavailable women. Instead of building strong and loving relationships, they would rather have one-night stands. However, even if they do get into a relationship, it’s a different kind of closeness they crave. This kind of woman will want a relationship built on bedding down – not on whispering sweet nothings to each other.
Narcissistic traits
Most therapists will tell you that anyone showing these traits is likely to be a narcissist. The only care about themselves and what they want in life; everything else is secondary. At first, this kind of woman may seem alluring and charming. However, when things don’t go their way, they start to show their true colors. Narcissistic people can be manipulative, in order to get their own way. An emotionally unavailable woman may show narcissistic traits that show her true level of selfishness.
Spending time together
An emotionally unavailable woman will only want to spend time with their partner when it suits them. They are not interested in spending every waking hour of the day with their other half, as they have much better things to do. Work life, a social life, and hobbies will come first for this kind of woman. Their relationship is last on the list of ‘things to do’ and so don’t expect them to make time for you.
They don’t want to change
While their behavior may be destructive, emotionally unavailable women aren’t interested in making changes. They are so set in their ways that they truly believe what they are doing is fine. While it may not always be their fault that they’re emotionally unavailable, many don’t want to make the changes to open up their hearts and emotions. If you are in a relationship with an emotionally unavailable woman, then don’t expect them to change their ways – at least not without a lot of help.
When you first meet an emotionally unavailable woman, it can seem like a dream. She may be alluring and full of charm, seemingly independent and someone who knows what she wants. However, as this starts to fade away, you’ll begin to see the real difficulty in trying to build a relationship with an emotionally unavailable woman. They may be closed off, refuse to talk about their feelings, and show a manipulative side during challenges or conflicts.
Changing an emotionally unavailable woman may seem like an impossible task, but that’s not always the case. If your partner truly wants to break free from her destructive behavior, then she may be able to see the wood through the trees. Only then will you be able to work together to help her become more emotionally available – filled with as much love as she can give.
