When it comes to relationships, it’s so hard to know at the start whether the person you are seeing is a keeper, or whether it will all end in heartache. It doesn’t help that films and songs give us a very unrealistic portrayal of love! To help decode the mystery, here are some signs that will help you decide if he is a waste of your time or a total catch.
They always tell the truth
This seems pretty obvious but can be a lot harder to recognize when you’re up close. A player is often dishonest, not always with lies but with not admitting the truth. For example, if he is with “friends, ” but you never find out who they are, this could be a red flag. Go with your gut, if you never feel suspicious about what your partner is up to, then they are a keeper. If you do ever raise concerns, a keeper will respect these, where as a player is more likely to make you feel crazy for thinking them.
They stick to their commitments
A keeper won’t cancel on you at the last minute for shady reasons, but pinning down a player is likely to be more difficult. For a healthy relationship, you don’t need to know every single thing that they are doing all day, but if they are very elusive and vague about what they have been up to, alarm bells may start ringing. After all, if they were not doing anything that they shouldn’t have been, why would they need to hide something?
The communicate about what they are looking for
Ah, the dreaded ‘what are we?’ conversation. A keeper will be honest and will be willing to embark on a commitment rather than just casual fun. A player may not be willing to even have this conversation or perhaps want to only talk about what they want, rather than considering your feelings. They may not want to label anything as this helps them get away with playing the field. Once you have had the conversation and pinned down exactly what you are, a keeper will stick to the terms agreed, whereas a player might become even more elusive.
They want you to feel good
A keeper will always want you to feel good about yourself. They will do little things and treat you well and overall endeavor to make you happy. If you have doubts or worries, they will try to ease them for you. A player, however, will often convince you that you are in the wrong and will put you down in subtle ways that will chip away at your confidence. They will make you feel crazy for doubting them, and you will feel on edge or unable to say what you think. This is not okay!
You deserve to be with someone who makes you happy and who is as committed to you as you are to them. Don’t waste your time on players where there are so many other people out there who would be lucky to have you. If they don’t meet these three points, kick them to the kerb!