Learning the ropes to parenting one laugh at a time

Although it’s no secret that raising kids is pretty darn difficult, most of us still spend our lives waiting for the day that we get to hold our own child in our arms and take in that amazing baby smell everyone always talks about. It’s a real thing, you know. In fact, most of us adopt this desire to have children when we’re children ourselves. Whether you just loved to play with dolls and make sure they were comfortable in their Malibu Barbie sports car when you were younger, or whether you just had your own little brother or sister to play and mess around with when you were a kid, most of us were taught to always be caring and compassionate to children – even if they’re not your own, and they irritate the heck out of you. Because of this, most of us count down the years on our body clock until we can have a few sprogs of our own or even venture down other parenting paths. Unfortunately, people seem to brush over what it really means to be a parent, and learning the parenting ropes doesn’t always end well…


ADVERTISEMENT

According to UNICEF, around 353,000 babies are born around the world every single day – which is probably why you sometimes think you can hear a crying chorus when you wake up in the morning. This staggering numbers of births each day normal equates to a few hundred thousand parents who have suddenly found their lives turned upside down. After all, it’s pretty darn scary to realize that you have your own tiny human to look after. That’s a lot of pressure. Despite the nine months you have to prepare for your baby’s imminent arrival, nothing will really get you prepared for the trials and tribulations of parenthood. Sure, you can read every single baby book under the sun – but when you think about it, just because you read a driving manual doesn’t mean it’s safe to drive a car on the road. Yes, you can attend baby classes and wonder with other expectant mommies about the laughs and fun you’ll have with a brand new baby in your life, but you might find things a little different in a couple of months time when you’re all huddled in a corner for your weekly group crying session.

Of course, we’re kinda ignoring the obvious here… babies are adorable! They are adorable, they are entirely yours, and they will fill you with so much joy you’ll wonder where it all came from. In fact, your whole perception of the world will change. Not only will you jump with excitement at the news of your friends’ engagement, but you’ll also jump just as hard when your child takes their first trip to the potty. You might even take a picture of the end results. Yes, children will change your life – but parenting does require a lifelong commitment. You have to learn the ropes of parenting one step at a time, no matter whether that step is a step in the right direction, or a step closer to the ER department…

Is that for sale?

Let’s be honest; there really is nothing better than a trip to IKEA. You get to wander around the never-ending aisles of beautiful homeware, you get to marvel at the selection of Swedish flat-pack furniture, and you get to try out the amazingly crafted showrooms. However, IKEA requires your undivided attention, which can get divided when you have a toddler in tow. So, this parent decided to take advantage of the fact that IKEA had basically created their own creche for children, and kept their child safe-ish for the duration of their visit. Is that for sale…. Or?

Gym baby

There are two kinds of people in this world: those that live for the gym, and those who don’t even know who this Jim person is. Those who spend their lives in the gym worry about taking a day off in case their muscles from being Arnold-Schwarzenegger-style to Danny-Devito-style, so do everything they can to ensure that they are pumping iron from the crack of dawn. Yet, when you have a child to look after, this routine can get a little disrupted. But does it have to be? This dad has found the perfect way to incorporate daddy daycare into his workout. What a genius.

Quality bonding

One of the first rules you learn as a prospective parent is to ensure that your baby is cared for at all times, and maintains contact with you during the first few months of their life to ensure that you create a lasting bond. However, those of you who are parents will know that simply sitting on a couch in silence with your new baby is a little boring. In fact, you spend most of your time waiting for your child to ruin your new shirt with the breakfast they ate earlier. Because of this, you need to find a way to spend quality bonding time with each other that is still fun. Here’s exhibit A.

Pamper time

People across the globe dream of one day having a child to call their own that they can dress in snuggly bear onesies, beautiful dresses, or even a sailor outfit if that’s the kind of thing that floats your boat. Indeed, there’s nothing better than pampering your child and making them look as beautiful as they can possibly be. At least, that’s what some parents dream of. Others dream of making their child look as awesome as ever – which sometimes means that you just have to draw evil eyebrows on them. It just has to be done.

A helping hand

When you have a child, you basically enter into an unofficial contract that you will always have a helping hand in your life for the rest of your life. While these kids might outright refuse to help in the form of housework or cooking, they can come in useful in other circumstances. You know, like when you want to take a trip to the zoo and want to feed a raccoon. This dad felt extremely lucky to have his child this day he was able to lower his son into an animal enclosure head first without any form of safety equipment. Incredibly lucky.


Just desserts

Having a newborn baby is perhaps one of the most time-consuming life experiences you will undertake, but also one of the most rewarding. After all, what’s cuter than a tiny human you created? However, because it’s important to constantly support their fragile bodies, it can make daily treats a struggle. This father just wanted to enjoy his dessert, but struggled to hold his plate and his baby at the same time. So, he decided to combine his two loves so that he could hold both! Do people become inventors when they have children? We think so.

Party time

As soon as your child starts to grow up, it’s fair to say that they will become the most sociable person you ever meet in your life. Not only will they make friends with complete strangers in the grocery store, but they will also come home with a brand new friend from preschool every single day. This means that when you throw a birthday party for your own kid, you have to invite the whole world and his dog. Yet, instead of simply watching them run around your kitchen and screaming their heads off for hours on end, place them in a crib and keep them all together! Sorted.

I’ll be watching

There’s something about being a dad that automatically makes you overly protective. You suddenly hate the thought of someone talking to your daughter, and the thought of another person kissing her is enough to make steam come out of your ears. Nevertheless, as the years go by you stop challenging every one of your daughter’s boyfriends to an arm wrestle where you proceed to crush their fingers, but instead opt for a silent but deadly stare that will stay with them for life. Don’t quite know how to pull it off? Just take a look at this guy.

Getting along

Having one kid isn’t easy, but having two or more kids is even harder. Sure, there will be times where you want to rock back and forth in your bathroom, but there will also be times where you realize you need to step up to the plate to enforce strict rules and regulations – especially if your kids don’t get along. Although forcing your children to get along may seem a little harsh, this mom realized that placing her kids into their “Get Along Shirt” was enough to make them be nice to each other, because they never wanted to experience it ever again…

Grown-up kids

It’s a well-known fact that your kids grow up way too fast, but most of the time it’s there attitude that grows up a little too fast – which means that they become argumentative, stubborn, and they think they everything about everything. To combat this, one barber called Russell Frederick has allowed his kids to truly experience adult life the way they want to. If they pushed his buttons and claimed to not care about school or education, then he would give them old-man haircuts just like this one. I mean, this is really something.

Quiet time

If you have kids, you’ll know that when you ask them to be quiet, and they actually do as their told, there is something going on… and not in a good way. Yes, the first rule of parenting 101 is that quiet time is NEVER something you want to experience. After this mom asked her daughter to be quiet while she was on the phone, she was hoping that her child had simply done as she was told for once. Of course, that totally didn’t happen. This did! So, what would you rather? A screaming child who won’t be quiet or a child covered in white paint? You decide.

Taking one for the team

As soon as you become a parent, most of your self-respect goes out of the window. You have to discipline your children in public no matter how uncomfortable it makes you feel, and you have to take one for the team even if it makes you look incredibly silly. That’s exactly what one father did when his daughters asked if they could buy short shorts because they were “sooo cute.” Instead of simply saying “no” and receiving an onslaught of pleading, this dad decided to show his children what these short shorts really looked like. We’re guessing they didn’t ask again…

Swing, swing, swing

Learning the ropes to parenting can often involve a lot of ropes – both figuratively and literally. For some reason, kids just can’t get enough of going on the swings. Whether they love the thrill of it all, whether they love to feel the wind in their hair, or whether they just love to see their parents exert a huge amount of their already-depleted energy in pushing them, they just love them. Incredibly, this parent/innovator managed to find a middle ground between spending quality time with his daughter and having time to himself. Just add another rope into the mix!

Mommy payback

Teaching your children to be compassionate and kind to all living things is one of the hardest tasks as a parent, and can often take years to perfect. However, the joy of modern technology has allowed this to become a lot easier. When they have hundreds of friends on social media, the last thing your child wants is to be called out on something that they will have nightmares about for the rest of their life, but this mom decided that her son needed a taste of his own medicine. If he was going to spread embarrassing information on social media, so was she. That’s mommy payback, kids.

What’s that smell?

As a parent, you need to be ready for all of the weird and wonderful gifts your child will bring back for you. Whether it’s a snail from your backyard, whether it’s a handmade card, or whether it’s something a little different, it’s best that you simply smile and wave, and take the gifts gracefully. That’s exactly what this mom did when she realized that her sons had brought home a lovely smelling bar of soap for her bathroom. However, when she probed them a little more about where they got the soap from, she soon realized that her kids had actually brought home a urinal cake from their local sports center…

Rainy days

When you have kids, you can often find yourself dreading the day the heavens start to open, and it starts to rain – because this really restricts the ways you can tire your kids out. You can’t go to the park, you can’t go to the beach, and you definitely can’t play in the backyard. Instead, you have to insist on staying indoors and them running amok in your tiny living room. Or do you? This genius parent decided to turn their stairs into one giant slide with just a cheap piece of cardboard. It’s so simple, yet so effective. We just HAVE to try it out.

Mess… mess everywhere

As soon as you discover that you’re pregnant or that you’re having a baby, it’s best that you resign to the fact that you will never be wholeheartedly clean ever again. At least, not until your child goes to college and moves out of your family home. Even something as common as changing a diaper can result in a mess of disastrous proportions. Fancy a parenting tip? Never take your eyes off a baby when you are changing a diaper. They will roll around in their own doo-doo, and they will get it all over them. It’s a fact.

Working with what you’ve got

Let’s be honest, having kids is pretty darn expensive. From the pushchairs to the car seats, to the food, to the toys, and the clothes they seem to grow out of within weeks, kids take up a huge chunk of your paycheck – which means that you need to cut costs wherever you can. Sometimes it’s best to work with what you have rather than buying brand new toys or chairs for your children, and this guy has the perfect idea. After all, why buy a carry bag or baby sling when you can simply keep a hold of your child with your dreadlocks? Duh.

Social punishment

The introduction of social media into our everyday lives has given us things to do on our lunch break, and ways to communicate with friends across the globe – but some kids just don’t know when to stop when it comes to posting things on Facebook. After this teen posted something they shouldn’t have on their social media page, their parents decided to teach them a lesson. So, they were publicly humiliated and banned from using social media for a while. Yes, a social media hiatus always seems to work…

Not quite right

Having a newborn baby in your lives means that your sleeping pattern goes from “rather good” to “nonexistent” in a matter of days. In fact, most new parents spend the first few months of their baby’s life in a frosted daze where they seem to be running on empty. Because of this, it’s perfectly normal to make mistakes when it comes to feeding or changing in the middle of the night. This parent couldn’t quite get the hang of which way up this babygrow was meant to go, but at least their head is still poking out, right?

Public embarrassment

Becoming a parent is a rite of passage. Not only do you become parents to a wonderful new child, but you also vow to a life of publicly embarrassing them every single chance you get. It’s just the way it works. When this kid wanted to go on a trip to the museum with his parents for educational and cultural experiences, he was hoping to really take in what it had to offer him. Unfortunately, his parents didn’t quite have the same idea, and could be sniggering at the front gates – right by the sign which was just too good to miss.

At one with nature

As a parent, it’s your job to ensure that your child is ready for any eventuality in life – including that well-known situation where a meerkat jumps on your head and tries to steal you away into their lemur lair. Yes, that one. So, this parent decided to start his baby young and get them ready for what life can throw at them. They took their kid on a trip to the zoo, placed the buggy in front of the lemur enclosure, and let the rest of the situation unfold before his very eyes. Either that, or he had the shock of his life when a baby lemur decided to sit on his baby’s head.

Easy parenting

There are some parents in this world who do everything they can to ensure that their children are properly disciplined and know the boundaries. They use the naughty step, they have a time-out, they take away privileges, and they even have a star-chart. Yet, there are other parents who are a little more old-school and don’t make use of any of these bells and whistles.Instead, they keep it easy and simple, and simply use a dog kennel to lock them away. However, we wouldn’t advise anyone else to try this one at home. It might not go down well with child services.

Meltdown galore

We’re not really sure what kids have to cry about because they don’t have to pay bills or work in a dead-end job for a living, but children just love to spend their time crying for hours on end for absolutely no reason. It could be something as simple as not letting them use a big-boy knife and fork, or it could be something more bizarre such as Britney Spears coming on the television. Either way, parents have to deal with meltdowns galore at any moment in time. In fact, you’ll see your kid stropping on the floor more than you will see them standing up.

Under lock and key

Although you spend hundreds of thousands of dollars ensuring that you create a homely and welcoming house for your kids to grow up in, the most valuable gadget in their eyes will always be the WIFI. Yet, if you’re fed up with your children ignoring all of the chores that need to be done in favor of FaceTiming their friends, there is one easy way to make a change. Keep that password under lock and key! This mom has the right idea, and changes her WIFI password every single day. Only when her kids have made their beds, vacuumed the house and walked the dogs will she give it away…

Hungry monsters

There really is nothing worse than a child who is hungry. They become grumpy, they become sad, and they might even become aggressive and throw their toys quite literally out of the pram. In fact, many parents have sworn some form of demon has risen inside of their child when they’re denied their Turkey Twizzlers. It’s scary. There are a few ways to know that when your hungry monster is due another meal. In most cases, they will stand up against the window with a plate and cutlery in their hands, showing off their demon teeth to whoever will be able to feed them next. Or is that just this kid?

The disrespect!

If you don’t currently follow Chrissy Teigen on Twitter, then you need to check yourself before you wreck yourself and get on that ASAP. Like most children, Chrissy’s daughter looks as if butter wouldn’t melt – but soon does something that makes her reconsider everything she thought she knew. Yes, when you become a parent, you should get ready for moments like this one, when your kid will kick you and fart in your face simultaneously. We wonder if she had both a black and a pink eye? It’s the joy of parenthood, y’all.

An overall advantage

Although your child may be the love of your life, we bet you can’t deny the fact that they make your life a lot slower. Suddenly, taking a trip to the store requires one intense hour of planning to ensure that you have the buggy and a portable changing table, and even if you think about leaving it all behind and simply walking to the store – you have to resort to 1 mph to ensure their adorable little legs can keep up. It’s tough. This dad got so fed up with waiting for his kid to walk alongside him that he decided to use his overalls to his advantage.

Mommy’s little helper

One of the best aspects of being a parent is realizing that your child is becoming your very own mini-me. You get to buy matching shoes, bobble hats, and coats, and watch as your child tries to become just like you. While this may be the cutest thing ever, this can also work to your advantage. After all, part of your adult life is having to push the trolley around the grocery store, so your kid knows how to do that too. But don’t worry, they won’t know that it’s all a ruse. In their eyes, you are giving them the freedom to be grown up, which is exactly what they want. Sneaky!

A dad’s sacrifice

When you have a child, you place yourself into the realm of servitude. You do everything you possibly can to make sure your son or daughter is happy – even if that means you have to sacrifice your own needs and wants. This dad felt the full force of this when he took his daughter to a concert to watch the “young music.” While he wanted to ensure that his daughter was having an incredible time to remember, he just couldn’t listen to that racket. Thank goodness for earplugs, ey?

ADVERTISEMENT